According to hub, men do not walk round all day with a hard-on, either a full or semi. He must be lying though because in most of the m/m romance stories I read the men are always popping a boner at even the most inappropriate of times - or should that be especially at the most inappropriate times - or are so caught up in thoughts of their lover that their dick is hard enough to drill holes in their trousers all day whilst at work or socialising with their friends. No one seems to notice the fact that there's a tent in their trousers either. Strange that.
Because we all know that m/m romance always tells the absolute truth.
Why is your husband always trying to ruin everything for me. *pout*
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I've checked periodically at work just to see if anyone is very excited and ... Not that I can tell but maybe they have on VERY tight undies that manage to keep things all tucked up and secure even when excited. I can imagine although on some people around here I REALLY don't want to imagine.
Can I complain for a moment? It's when they say the guy is getting imprints of the zipper teeth from his jeans he's so hard. Okay, everyone stop, unzip your jeans and look at the fly. You see that floppy piece of fabric behind the zipper extending about an inch to the right? It's called a placket. It is there for one reason only, to make sure none of your flesh EVER comes in contact with the teeth of the zipper. And it's a double layer of denim. Especially useful for going commando in both sexes, because, ouch. So please, there is no flesh EVER touching the zipper on jeans. Hyperbole is one thing, add "feels like the zipper is leaving imprints" and I'll be content. Thank you authors. My work here is done.
I'm laughing at the thought of you surreptitiously checking out the men in your dept to see whether they are popping a boner :).
ReplyDeleteI agree with the jeans thing too :).
Haha! One of my gay friends despises romance novels because of all the uncontrollable, raging erections. I'll never forget him totally going off on it a few years ago, and how offended he felt reading about the continual hardness.
ReplyDeleteHi Jordan
ReplyDeleteI can well understand why your friend would be annoyed. I've made light of it here, but the uncontrollable permanent hard on is really just a lazy way for some authors to indicate sexual desire and attraction. I'm sure there must be a subtler way to show that in romance.
The perpetual hard on makes me laugh. What makes me laugh even more is that one of the porn stars I used to follow on twitter (who I gave up due to hilarious pretentiousness) once posted a pic of his semi hard on in jeans. Now I know this guy is hung (seen the proof) but I couldn't see the supposed semi/full fledged hard on against the jeans. I think they hide it pretty well even when you're trying to show it off.
ReplyDeleteAlso thanks to hubs but he can keep that info to himself. I prefer to think of my pretty men with dicks that get hard at every breeze.
Thankyouverymuch.
Ah, maybe that's it then. If the man wears jeans then no-one can see it through the thick denim material *nods*.
ReplyDeleteWhat about all the guys in suits then? LOL!
Yes, hub is a well of disappointing information, I'm afraid.
There is a condition called Priapism which might explain our m/m romance hero's condition...
ReplyDeleteMen are pigs
ReplyDeleteOnce this fact is accepted we can move on.
Tam: The zipper imprint thing always makes me roll my eyes, too!
ReplyDeleteLOL, Jase. :)
Grr. Stupid blogger. Don't mind me, just subscribing to the comments...
ReplyDeleteHa, ha! I'm glad hubs set the record straight. Because if there are uncontrollable hard-ons all the time, you know what that leads to ... Penis thumping! And we all know that penis thumping requires a whole other blog post unto itself. :)
ReplyDeleteLMAO!
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't bother me to read about the perpetual erection, even though I know it's not very realistic. ;) However, I work with teenage boys, and for some of them, it's kind of accurate. I've had to have more than one student removed from class over the past few years because they just can't stop playing with Mr. Happy. *shudders*
Jase: Those poor men! Is this a condition which particularly affects m/m romance heroes, do you think? perhaps we should set up a foundation to help the poor dears. LOL!
ReplyDeleteTP: Lol, of course you are! It's a good job we love you all anyway :).
Chris: I'm glad we are all in agreement on the zipper thing :).
ReplyDeleteVal: Oh no, Not penis thumping! That definitely cannot go on undetected to your work colleagues. Can you imagine the scene: Hero stands up for important presentation and excuses himself as he attempts to get his raging boner under control with a couple of good thumps. LOL!
Eyre: I'm not sure I really wanted to know that. lol! I can't say any of the teenage boys in my classes ever did that. Perhaps it's the sight of your lovely face which causes the problem :).
ReplyDeleteLOL! It's definitely not my face. :)
ReplyDeleteEvery couple of years, we get a student who just can't refrain. *shakes head*
Perhaps one of the guidance counselors should share the thumping technique with those kids.
Lol, Eyre. Perhaps you should suggest that it goes on the syllabus for Health Ed :).
ReplyDeleteIf they're not permanently hard, they're twitching - the cocks, that is, not the guys themselves. Unless they suffer from Tourettes...
ReplyDeleteWell, if we didn't get erections all the time, how the hell are we supposed to think? :-)
ReplyDeleteJo: Ah yes, the twitching cock. Perhaps it does that just to remind the man that his hard-on has waned and he needs to drift off into another erotic daydream about his man to keep his flag-pole stiff :).
ReplyDeleteMark: The voice of reason, lol! Good point there!
Your hubby is either a) lying or b) abnormal.
ReplyDeleteProbably both, Kris :).
ReplyDeleteYour hub is a spoilsport Jen!
ReplyDeleteI watched quite a bit of tennis and I can tell you tennis shorts are more revealing then jeans
Ingrid: Now surely men in tennis whites don't get hard-ons whilst playing? I don't think I've read a m/m tennis story - although I think there is one out there by Alan Chin.
ReplyDeleteThere are two that I know off. The Alan Chin one, Match maker and Love Match by Keira Andrews.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I'd forgotten about that Keira Andrews one.
ReplyDelete