The Enema Scene

The other day, I was reading a BDSM book and came across an enema scene. It wasn't my first of such a scene - I think that was a Sean Michael book, the name of which I can't now remember off the top of my head. Maybe you can enlighten me. When I realised what was going to happen, I have to admit my heart sank a little. You see, I just don't find enema scenes sexy or romantic, and so I skimmed it and moved on.

ETA: Chris has identified the book for me.  It wasn't a SM book at all. It was Where the Heart Is by Ally Blue, so my thanks need to go to Ally for that special introduction to enemas :).

This got me thinking a little and, helped by a quickie discussion on Twitter, I began to think about why such scenes are written into romance books. They nearly always occur in BDSM books. An enema BDSM scene is all about control and humiliation of the sub because, let's face it, rinsing out your bum is not really something you want to do in front of another person. It's on a par with, for example, changing a tampon - ie. undignified and a bit yucky. Having the task performed on you by another person is an extreme act of intimacy usually reserved for the medical profession and it involves a lot of trust. I suppose this is why enema scenes are used in BDSM books to show a powerful submission. Unfortunately I just can't get past the clinical nature of the act. It reminds me of hospitals, of cold bathrooms and of sterile environments. I can't set aside that medical image in my head to see the sexiness of it. In my head I can see why someone would find that depth of submission very romantic but in my heart I find it a little bit uncomfortable and too much of a private act. Maybe that's the point.

Going back to the first enema scene I read in that Sean Michael Ally Blue book. I found that particular scene rather interesting because I wasn't entirely sure how one performed an enema, never having had one myself. Hub's great grandparents were huge before-their-time health freaks who advocated a regular enema as a way of keeping your body in tip-top condition inside and out. This meant I had a vague notion that one gave oneself a bit of a swill out. Um, it seems I was a bit wrong there, and I'd like to thank Sean Michael for that very enlightening scene! However, once I'd got that knowledge safely stored in my brain, I wasn't that bothered about reading about it again.

I don't think we should totally ignore the fact that enemas exist but if it's necessary to mention one, then I'd rather authors use euphemisms or just a brief mention without needing to produce a whole scene. I wouldn't be sad if I never read an enema scene again and when they occur I just do what I did with this recent book and skim the scene.

Let me finish with a couple of my favourite passages of m/m romance which allude to enemas, one which is romantic without us seeing the whole scene, and one which made me laugh:


There was a triangular rubber bag hanging from the shower head, the enema ball looped over it. Brian looked at it. Looked at Paul.
"If you want to," said Paul.
Something about the way he requested it ... "I will if you like," said Brian.
Paul cupped Brian's chin in one hand, thumb tracing his lower lip almost with reverence. "You're really something."
And then Brian was standing in the steaming shower, warm water on his back, big wet arms around him, soft warm lips covering his. He felt utterly safe, utterly happy. When the kiss broke he was grinning like a crack addict.
"Lemme take a shower, Daddy," he said. "I'll be right out."

From Goldilocks and His Three Bears by AM Riley


He hugged me, kissed me and tenderly asked if I’d had a bowel movement that day (and they say romance is dead) I cautiously nodded, aware of alarm bells beginning to ring. He asked if I’d cleaned thoroughly and I said, yes of course, making sure I said it loudly enough to be heard above the alarm bells, which were now clanging like an invasion warning. He grinned wickedly and said ‘oh goody get your kit off, honey, because I’ve got something for you.’

From More Fun with Dick and Shane by Gillibran Brown


So what about you dear readers of this blog? Do you find enema scenes sexy and romantic or would you prefer that they are kept firmly behind the bathroom door? Do you like them in your BDSM books because of the deep submission and humiliation they show in the sub or are you ambivalent and don't mind either way? Do you have a favourite scene from a book? The floor is yours!