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| From Funny Kitty Cat Pictures |
I'm being a very grumpy reader at the moment and finding it hard not to get annoyed by stuff which may not normally annoy me. Here are some grumpy thoughts I've been having recently whilst reading a selection of different books and short stories:
1. Why is the cock always personified? Cocks can't be 'needy', nor can they 'weep'.
2. According to hub, when erect a cock does not ache so why do they always ache in m/m books?
3. I'm sure men over the age of twenty don't spring a boner all the time at the mere thought of sex.
4. I'm bored of all this sex.
5. Ew, use a condom, you don't know where he's been.
6. If I'd just met someone and he spewed out his whole sorry life story and then cried on my shoulder, I'd run a mile in the opposite direction, not think I was falling in love.
7. You're too forgiving.
8. You're not forgiving enough.
9. This book could do with a damn good edit.
10. I only read this story 14 hours ago, I should be able to at least remember something about it.
11. Why do all these grown men sound like whinging teenage girls?
12. Just cos it's Christmas doesn't mean that common sense has to go out of the window in favour of forcing a HEA.
13. Oh good grief, purple prose alert!
14. For goodness sake, put the paddle away and get on with some plot, or character development, or something.
15. *Yawn* I think I'll go and play Skyrim. Killing Drougars is tons more exciting than this book.
You see? Totally grumpy. What grumpy thoughts have you been having about books recently? Just generally, nothing specific about any one book :).
Oh yes, we all have those moments where everything annoys us. LOL
ReplyDeleteMine, weird words for the back door.
Forcing the happy ending in Christmas stories when they've only known each other 12 hours. (or less)
Stories that are really just sex scenes and not much more. Especially when I don't know anything about the characters.
On the upside, I haven't read anyone who gets undressed twice or has the wrong color eyes from one chapter to the other or their name changes for a paragraph or two. :-)
Yes, strange euphemisms for the arsehole have a tendency to make me snigger, not make me engaged in the book!
DeleteAnd, yes, yes, yes, to the forced HEA. I'm happy with a HFN.
Such a great list. It's how I feel when I cycle into "m/m is all junk" thoughts and prefer video games myself.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kassa. I think this just shows how ready I am for a break from the genre :).
DeleteI do love that grumpy cat and I share many of your grievances.
ReplyDeleteLike why do people seem to automatically trust that the guy they just met is telling them the truth about being clean? No one does or should trust like that.
Or why do they have to have a HEA when a HFN ending would be better suited?
My biggest issue is the teenage girl syndrome you mentioned. It is in both m/m and m/f and seems to be in numerous genres now. I find myself thinking "grow up" or "get over it already" more and more now.
I'm glad we agree, Amanda :).
DeleteThe older I get, the less forgiving I am when characters in their late twenties or thirties act like teenagers.
Great list, Jen! And you SOOOOO made linkity. :)
ReplyDeleteHmm. You've reminded me why I'm mostly reading those hockey fics... ;)
LOL! I'm glad you are enjoying the hockey fics :).
DeleteLOL you made me smile, though please don't think I'm not sympathetic with your weariness!!
ReplyDelete... and I just read a book where someone took his jacket off, then took it off again 2 paragraphs later :).
Makes me wonder if I'd have noticed it in times gone by, before I'd been through the edit process myself?! hmmm.
Likewise for wrong names, confusing use of "he" "his" etc (and I KNOW how tricky that can be to write), sudden appearance of long-lost relative to wrap up the plot (please give me *some* clue early on so I can feel I'm engaged with this plot, not just a spectator), no-one having to work or make dinner or do the laundry or clear out the hamster, eyes that "throw", "jump", "stab" (and I've been heavily edited for my Autonomous Body Parts, so again I sympathise *g*) ...
And yes, I still love to read :):)
Oh yes the sudden appearance of any character to save a tricky situation at the end makes me annoyed. It's a real 'huh?' moment for me and takes away from what could have been a dramatic scene.
DeleteI'm glad you still love reading! So do I, despite my grumpiness at the moment :).
No more GFY. No more, NO MORE! I call idiocy! And serial crises, and angst for angst's sake, and cutesy-wootsy characters and dialogue.
ReplyDeleteIt appears we all have our limits. ;-)
NOOOOOO! I like GFY/OFY :).
DeleteI agree with the cutesy dialogue and characters though. You get lots of those in Christmas stories. Hmmmm, maybe that's my problem. I'm just reading far to many Cgristmas stories at the moment :).
Missing middles! One more straight from the set-up to the HEA and skipping over the story and I will scream!
ReplyDeleteSo called "character driven" stories where the characters barely move an inch and nothing else particularly happens! It's worse when it's coupled with one character's brain-puke of previously unhinted at issues during the last chapter before the big sex wrap-up scene.
Oh yes, the missing middle happens a lot in short stories. Either that or the middle is just sex and somehow that makes up for a lack of plot.
DeleteI also agree with the sudden appearance of either some sort of past crisis, or a surprise character or something to cause a slight problem to the story (car accident?) which then forces the HEA. It's just sloppy.
Oh, I loved your list. I so agree.
ReplyDeleteI also hate grown men being called 'baby' - really, I just think paedophile! What about using a few others, eg darling, sweetheart, love etc.
I still can't get over pants being trousers - pants are underwear, so it always makes me stop and translate.
Bad edits! Your instead of you're, there instead of their, wrong tense, off of (for goodness sake, off almost never needs 'of' tagged on the end. If I have to stop and decipher a sentence in order to understand it, automatically deduct one star.
Oh, and lately names have been driving me mad. What is with these mixed gender names? why can't females have feminine names and males have masculine names. Leslie is masculine, Lesley is the feminine form and a few others like this. It totally confuses me when I suddenly find someone I though was male is actually female.
Enough! I still love m/m. Happy Christmas to everyone!
Hi Avalie
DeleteI didn't used to mind the whole 'baby' thing but I have to admit, I've grown a little tired of it. I call hub 'darling' and my in-laws always used to think that was very funny :).
Some of the problems with names are a US thing, I think. I used to be confused by the whole Leslie/Lesley thing too, but apparently this isn't the case in the USA where a woman can be either a Leslie or a Lesley!
I hope you had a very merry Christmas!